For Finn

My dear sweet girl,
You are soon going to be five years old. I can hardly believe it has been that long since you were placed in my arms. It really seems like time has sped by, not even caring how I felt about it. I don't like it at all. I wish you were still 2. Not because 2 is my favorite age, just because at 2 you don't know as much as you do now. At 2 you didn't know what dying meant or lying, or a hundred other things that are slowly shaping your life. I just hope that with the negatives come a thousand more positives. Don't be like me and stay so focused on how bad things seem or how huge a problem it looks to be, because it really isn't. There is nothing so big you have to lose sleep or cry or bite your fingernails (I'm still working on this one). I always say that my favorite character from the Winnie the Pooh stories is Eeyore because I love his gloominess. I even bought you that Eeyore costume a few years ago, remember? You couldn't say the quotes I taught you without smiling just a little. "Thanks for noticing me" just doesn't have the same implications when there is happiness behind it. Always hold firm to the happiness in your life, look for the joy in the most boring of activities. One of my favorite things to do is fold socks with you. You never fail to turn it into a game of some sort and then we end up laughing. When your laugh gets going it is so very contagious. I am going to miss you so much when you head out into the big world of kindergarten. You and i have been constant companions for these 5 years and I am not sure how I will manage without you. I think Chloe and Hutch will keep me busy but it won't be the same as having all my babies by my side. This summer will be filled with great stories and great adventure. When you do enter the doors of the elementary school, I hope your heart and innocence are protected just as long as they can be. I know great things are coming for you and I am so privileged to be along for the ride. Love Always and Forever, Mommy